


Soaps

by Humphrey



Category: Psych
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Break Up, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-22 04:45:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humphrey/pseuds/Humphrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shawn loves soaps, but not as much as he loves Gus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soaps

**Author's Note:**

> Contains a lot of Days of Our Lives references.

“Gus, did you know Sami Brady has been married five times in Days of Our Lives?”

“Why are you telling me this, Shawn? It’s 3 AM, I need my eight hours of sleep. That is the minimum required hours of sleep needed to perform my job.”

Shawn pushes past Gus and comes inside his apartment, clearly uninvited.

“I’m telling you this because in the episode I was watching tonight, she got married to EJ DiMera and she swore it was her last wedding. And you know what? Even though she is an incredible liar, seriously my role model, I actually believe her. Do you get what I’m saying, Gus?”

“I never get what you’re saying, Shawn,” Gus says. He honestly has no idea 90% of the time.

“You can’t give up on love, even though you know it might not end well. Even if it’s your fifth wedding or your third breakup.”

“Shawn, we are never ever getting back together.”

“How very Taylor Swift of you,” Shawn remarks. “Makes sense, never saw you as a Kanye fan. But seriously, this totally makes sense.”

“In what universe does this make sense? Sure, in the soap world people can get back together even after they tried to put bullets in each other. But in the real world, when your boyfriend of six years tranquilizes you to take you on a field trip for a case, you dump him.”

“How many times do I have to apologize for that?”

“You’ve apologized once, Shawn, and you haven’t stopped mentioning it ever since,” Gus says completely exasperated. “Now leave my home and let me sleep in peace. If you have a case, you can email me the details.”

“You can’t be serious, ‘email the details’. This is not who we are, Gus,” he protests wildly. “Usually I find us a case, you refuse to participate, I fuck you silly and we investigate. That is how things are done in our world.”

“Things change, Shawn, maybe not for Sami Brady but they do for Burton Guster. In fact, I’m going on a date with a very nice doctor tomorrow, so on second thought don’t send me anything.”

Shawn laughs but Gus doesn’t think he finds it’s very funny. “A very nice doctor, really? I remember it being a very nice teacher the first time, and I believe it was a very nice dentist the second time. You’re certainly improving yourself, your mother will be so proud.”

“Leave my mother out of this, Shawn,” Gus says, quietly fuming. He hates it when Shawn’s like this, he can be so mean when he wants to be.

Of course Shawn refuses to listen and continues talking about his mother. “I’m sure your mom is so happy you’re no longer dating that not so nice psychic detective. She probably hung out her Christmas decorations to celebrate. Tell me, are you as happy as she is?”

“Why would I be happy? Six years and it’s over because you’re still a juvenile delinquent, although I guess you’re just a delinquent now. If it wasn’t for your dad…”

“Don’t you dare bring my dad into this!”

“Yes, let’s not talk about anything important to you, maybe we should talk about why Sami and EJ will be getting divorced in three months once he finds out about the baby.”

“I knew you watched the show,” Shawn says in an accusatory tone. “You were always pretending to read ‘War and Peace’. You can pretend to be a pretentious asshole but I know you’re not. You’re just my trying-to-be-pretentious asshole.”

“I hate you Shawn!”

“If only you did,” Shawn smirks, “your life would be a lot less complicated and of course a lot less interesting. Do you think your nice doctor investigates murders in his spare time?”

“No, he doesn’t have the time, too busy saving lives.”

“I’m saving lives too,” Shawn argues. “It’s generally not considered to be a good idea to let killers on the loose. They tend to kill again, once they get the hang of it.”

“I’m tired of talking to you, Shawn. Just leave, now,” Gus orders.

Shawn sighs loudly. “I can’t leave, I don’t want to leave, I need you, Gus. I want you so much, you have no idea. Trust me, even a psychic like myself couldn’t have predicted this. It’s been a month, I’m literally going insane. I’ve been watching Days of our Lives for the past twelve hours, so I’ve seen about five weddings and six divorces. I love you, Gus.”

Gus nearly trips over his own feet in surprise. “Did you just say I love you? You never say that, unless you’re …”

“Inside you,” Shawn says smugly, he looks very proud of himself.

“You don’t mean it, you just want to get laid.”

“Of course I mean it,” Shawn says, looking more passionate than Gus has ever seen him outside the bedroom. “I know I can get carried away sometimes, but I would never lie to you about this.”

“But you would tranquilize your own boyfriend if it helps your investigation, right?”

“That was one time, are you ever going to forgive me that?” Shawn asks seriously, like he genuinely wants to know the answer.

“I’ve already told you, we’ll always be friends,” Gus says, deciding he really needs to water his plants so he takes out his watering can. He always waters his plants when Shawn makes him feel this nervous.

“You’re going to kill your plants if you water them one more time,” Shawn informs him quietly. "And stop being so nervous, you’re starting to make _me_ nervous.”

“You don’t even know what being nervous means,” Gus replies. “You weren’t nervous when you were cheating on your test in sixth grade, when you beat up that quarterback, when your dad found out you dropped out of college. I don’t even know if there is anything you really care about.”

“I care about plenty of things. Like my boyfriend, my parents, Psych, not to mention Days of Our Lives.”

“You don’t have a boyfriend, Shawn,” Gus mumbles.

“Are you really sure about that?”

“Yes,” Gus confirms, even though he doesn’t sound that convinced. “No healthy relationship can survive a third breakup. It’s inconceivable.”

“I don’t think you understand what inconceivable means, because to me that’s the perfect description of our relationship. It might not be as perfect as you want it to be, but nothing is perfect. Not even your nice doctor. We belong together, Gus.”

“How very Mariah Carey of you,” Gus says.

Shawn is silent, which impresses Gus since there are probably at least ten jokes he could make about that reference. He finally starts to water his plants while Shawn just watches him. When he’s finished, he’s still nervous but makes a decision anyway. Probably a perfect one but Gus isn’t really that perfect either.

“I’ve decided something,” he announces. Shawn looks uncharacteristically somber.

“I thinks we should stop investigating murders for a while, and start investigating our relationship.”

Shawn appears to be confused. “What do you mean?”

“What I’m trying to say is that instead of putting so much time in doing the job of the Police Department, I want us to investigate our own problems. Maybe if we can find out why we keep breaking up, we can avoid it happening again in the future.”

“We have a future,” Shawn smiles and Gus feels like a sixteen-year-old again.

“That’s what I’m saying. Do you think you can agree to these terms?”

“I think I can,” Shawn says and he starts moving in for a kiss, Gus quickly stops him.

“Not yet, I find it hard to think when you’re all over me.”

“It’s just a kiss,” Shawn pouts.

“It’s never just a kiss with you. We need to be sensible about this, Shawn. I don’t want us to just jump back in like we usually do. We are going to take things slow this time.”

“Ok,” Shawn agrees, and he backs off. “I can be sensible, you know. Let’s have dinner tomorrow. Oh and don’t forget to cancel your date with the nice doctor.”

“Why would I cancel?” Gus asks innocently.

“Don’t make jokes right now, it’s not appropriate.”

“Hypocrite.”

“At least I’m not trying to castrate him, like EJ DiMera would totally do.”

“I still can’t believe a soap brought us back together.”

“Hmm, my psychic gift tells me that a true love like ours can never be stopped.”

“Ok, you have to leave now,” Gus says and starts pushing Shawn to his door.

“Admit it, you’re getting turned on by this, aren’t you?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Gus says.

“Not even a little kiss,” Shawn whines, right before he closes the door.

Gus leans against the door, he knows Shawn is doing the exact same thing. He smiles and opens the door which leads to Shawn stumbling back in.

“I just realized no one truly sensible would date Shawn Spencer.”

“Does that mean I can stay the night?” Shawn asks, clearly excited and probably horny.

“I’m tired of trying to keep you out,” Gus admits. “But remember that we do still have to work on this relationship. I’m not going through this again.”

“As you wish,” Shawn says, looking much happier.


End file.
